i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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