Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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