I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
