how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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