That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
