just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
