maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
