just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
