Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
