the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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