New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
