Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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