Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
