Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
