Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
