I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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