I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
