There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
