Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
