Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
