Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
