if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
