I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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