I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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