the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
