I'm gonna have a badass scar
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
