every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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