hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
