The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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