that's an acceptable place to lick
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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