ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize