I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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