im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
