If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
