with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
