I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
