There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
