Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
