I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
