you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
