tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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