I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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