I must be too annoying 4 u.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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