seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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