The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I looked at my own cervix.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
