First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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