do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
