HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
