My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
