It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
