The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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