Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
